Pinocchio (\N)

A puppet is brought to life by a fairy, who assigns him to lead a virtuous life in order to become a real boy.
  • 5.1 /10.0 IMDB Rating:
  • DatePublished:
  • 2018-09-07 Added:
  • Chris Weitz, Writer:
  • Paul King, Director:
  • Andrew Miano, Producer:

All subtitles:



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Trailer:

2 / 10

An Insult To The 1940 Classic

"Oh, i just hit my boy of wood with a piece of wood"

Robert Zemeckis' Pinocchio is dire. Most of the CGI characters are hard to look at with Pinocchio being the worst offender. I couldn't imagine buying a toy of this version of Pinocchio, it's rather creepy looking.

The worst part of the movie is the fantasy island part. In the 1940 version, the donkey scenes to this day are terrifying, it really is a trip. Here it's just....nothing. That's probably the best way to describe the movie, a total waste of everyone's time.

Tom Hanks sleepwalks his way throughout the movie, almost as if he's only doing it as a favour to Zemeckis. I had to put the subtitles on for Geppetto as the performance consists mostly of just mutters and grunts. Joseph Gordon-Levitt's Jiminy Cricket doesn't have the originals warmth and humour and grates for most of the running time.

Robert Zemeckis has fallen off big time. He used to create original work such as Back To The Future, Forrest Gump, Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Now he directs remakes of The Witches, A Christmas Carol and Pinocchio. Such a waste.

This may be the worst Disney live-action movie. They really need to stop cashing in on their classics with tripe such as this.

On this viewing, Guillermo Del Toro doesn't have much to worry about with his version of Pinocchio. It can't be any worse than this.

2 / 10

Takes all the wrong notes from the classic original

Robert Zemeckis is a filmmaker responsible for some of the most colorful, ambitious, and uniquely fanciful films of all time. While his Pinocchio remake is certainly not entirely without its effective moments of visual splendor, it pains me to say that he has continued the trend of live-action Disney remakes that somehow manage to take everything about the original and make it significantly worse.

Every character and setting in this is less expressive and vibrant than it was in 1940, completely draining them of the personality and emotional resonance that once made them so memorable and beautiful.

The voice performances are lacklustre, to say the least. Every line of dialogue from Jiminy and Pinocchio is delivered with the exact same tone of voice. There is no variety to emotions, so the stakes are never clear.

Monstro the whale is not built up at all in this version, so any sense that he is a feared, menacing presence is gone. The tension is nonexistent in the finale. The story's other villainous characters are equally disappointing, coming across as goofy and incompetent rather than calculating and manipulative.

Worst of all, there are some narrative changes made in this version, and all of them make the themes of consequence and repentance lose their meaning and weight.

In this film, Pinocchio never has any moments when he learns the negative consequences of lying, stealing, and self-indulgence like he did in the original. He seems to know these things from the get-go, and he only finds himself in the marionette show and on pleasure island because of circumstance rather than by deliberate choice.

Outside of a couple of visually creative scenes, this is a shallow, soulless copy of a once-profound story. Not to mention that it comes across as insultingly disingenuous, as we all know quite well that Disney executives today don't actually know or care about the difference between right and wrong.

4 / 10

Del Toro, Please Save Our Soul

Even if a movie was made by Disney 20 years ago, it would have meant +1 point for many people.

Then Disney grew up and lost his soul.

The Pinocchio movie is not a successful production, despite all the successful actors and actresses in its cast, despite a lot of effort. Because there is no soul in the movie.

The only thing that comes to my mind after watching this movie is; was to watch the Blu-ray of the 1940 version, again made by Disney.

I hope the Netflix/Del Toro version is better.

I'm tired of big companies destroying my childhood memories.

Still, I can't pass without bowing, Benjamin Evan Ainsworth is also very talented in dubbing.

4 / 10

Worst Disney Remake (so far)

I'm gonna be honest, I do try my best to tolerate most of the live action remakes. We only got Jungle Book as the only one worth watching, everything else are either decent or just okay. Now the movie is released, I can already see a good reason people will debate this and the 2019 Lion King. The 2022 Pinocchio remake may not be the worst Disney Plus film, but this could be the worst live action Disney remake to date. There are Pinocchio movies out there that do try to find a way to tell the story of the character well. But this is more of a recycled film from the original 1940 one. Despite it does have some of the performances that's fateful to the original film, it had a weak execution with a poorly written story, mediocre characters, overly dark setups, and awful looking visuals. The one thing I'll say the visuals got right is with Pinocchio himself. But for the most part, they can be out of place and most of the designs try way too hard to make animal characters realistic. I mean, we already gotten Ugly Sonic in Chip and Dale. What more do you want to do all that in, Disney Plus? Of course as a painfully pointless live action Disney remake, I recommend to skip this one and stick with the original film. But you know what, let's all be thankful at least we're getting the one by Del Toro at the end of the year. When that gets released, I can guarantee it will be the one you'd want to watch instead. I think Disney should take a break from remaking their classic animated films before they embarrass themselves the more that are made.

1 / 10

Totally mindless

I really doubt the people involved in this remake understood the point of the original story. In an attempt to provide a "fresh new take on a classic" much of the original symbolism around choice and consequence and the meaning behind rescuing your father from the belly of a whale gets completely lost..

I guess that's the culture now. So much of what we create and consume is just a veneer of things that we're once great. We've given up on beauty. We've given up on depth. We've given up on truth. We've given up on nuance. We take something that's deep and beautiful and meaningful, we strip out all the substance, completely water it down, and then we draw cheap entertainment from the shell that's left behind..