I could write a long review discussing how unappealing the Green Knight is. I could tell you how muddled, slow, uninteresting and confusing it is, but hundreds of people have already done that. Say what you want about the Green Knight, but in the end, it's just lousy storytelling.
Ultimately, I'm just so tired of the movie industry. I'm tired of the group-thinky, "Emperor's New Clothes" mentality found in the lavish Metacritic reviews. I'm tired of the incessant, fake 10-star user reviews on IMDB. And I'm tired of Hollywood's complete inability to make a good movie anymore, no matter how good the actors or the source material.
This movie is so lousy that it's even getting difficult to find it on the big screen. Even the biggest multiplexes are only offering it one or two times a day, and we had to drive 20 miles to go see this.
There's a great movie lurking somewhere in The Green Knight, but unfortunately, it never emerged.
This is by far one of the most pretentious movies I have seen. Easily could have been a half hour short, but was put on .25% speed to stretch it out to two hours. It even feels like watching a video at that pace. Anyone praising this movie is lying to themselves. Those giving it an 8 or 9 are only praising the cinematography. From some of the other reviewers are saying those that don't love this movie are incompetent is beyond pretentious. Some might love the cinematography but it is by far not that impressive compared to other movies that seem to inspire this one. This movie basically has five shot compositions and really poor contrast at parts. In the theater there were parts so foggy and dark you could not see anything in the scene. If you remove the score about 80% of this movie would just be someone staring off in the distance or walking. Bad pacing, no real substance and such a predictable style that is geared at awards. Just because the score makes a scene sound intense doesn't actually add any intensity in this. To sum up, it is pretentious and slow beyond belief to the point the trailer was better than the movie.
I'm stunned at all the high praise. I'm a movie lover and when I read so many raving reviews, I went right out and watched this movie. I can say with no doubt in my mind, it was not what the trailers and reviews lead you to believe. I created an account to write this review. It is not exciting. There is no meaning behind anything. Every event is unexplained and tedious to watch. What was the point of any action taken by the mother, the hunter, and several others? It just is and no one cares. It is so loosely threaded and unbearably slow paced. I felt truly anxious for sitting through hours of mostly just the sound of walking or breathing. I kept waiting for something to happen. Something to explain motives. Something to tie it together because that's what stories do. This movie is not much of a story. It is riding in the back seat of your parents car on a long road trip to see a ditch. And the car has no radio and your parents don't like each other.
If you're the kind of person who goes to an art museum, sees feces smeared on a canvas and wonders to yourself about the meaning and interpretation then you might like this.
If you enjoy extremely long shots of staring and walking while listening to the projector machine in the theater run in the silence, you might like this.
Second worst movie I've ever seen in my life. Please save yourself the 2.5 hours. If you're thinking "it can't be that bad, maybe this guy just doesn't like what I like", you're wrong.
A Strange Experience
I won't say anything about the plot, as I went into the movie completely blind and would recommend anyone to do so.
The feeling I got, and still have, tells me that what I saw will stay with me for a long time.
If you have seen and enjoyed Pan's Labyrinth, Shape of Water, or Big Fish you will thoroughly enjoy this movie. I would even go as far as to say that I think it is better than all of these movies, though only time will tell, and it is, of course, my personal experience.
Mentally prepare yourself that this movie is a fairytale with adult elements. One that is beautifully shot, with a dream like story and absolutely terrific performances.
I believe if you know this going in, and you accept it, you will not be disappointed.